Trouble in Paradise
by XtinethePirate
Summary: As if a bad day couldn't get worse for poor, lovestruck Robin, big brother comes along to try and fix everyone's love life. Mild AR, some language and tons of drinking. Party time!
1. Espresso Woes

This fic was written a LOOOOONG time ago, but I decided I should try actually _finishing_ a chapter story before beginning to upload it! So, this one is COMPLETE! Yeah! Not in this chapter though... sorry! This was originally a one shot, but it got a little too long for that…well, not really, I just like chaptered stories!!

Back as a result of extreme reviewing, a new WHR fic from Xtine!!! This one is for YellowDancer21 and Lone Songbird, for reviewing, replying, and requesting another story! _Bisous!_

**A/n:** Plot spoilers for anyone (like me!) who hasn't seen past disc 5 of the series, regarding character relationships. Unless you've read post series fics such as The Disappearing Life by meris ann, this will give stuff away!!!!!!!!! But I get to write something w/ Nagira, so I'm happy!

ENJOY!

Sorry in advance if it's terribly OOC… I tried to keep it somewhat believable!

Read with a sense of humour.

Sept. 19, 2004

**Trouble In Paradise. **

**Chapter 1: Espresso woes**

Robin sat morosely in the kitchen of the drab apartment, sipping at a cup of scalding espresso and regarding the walls intensely. A dull, washed out, beige-ish colour, lifeless and worn. Much like her feelings, at the moment.

He was _always_ mad at her. Perhaps that was the only way he could be happy, by making everyone around him absolutely miserable. Robin had no idea how two brothers could be so completely different – Nagira was always a lot of fun, always smiling and making her feel better.

Stupid her for falling in love with the wrong one.

_Amon…_ Tall, dark, and handsome Amon. Brooding, sullen Amon. There was something definitely flawed in the female psyche to make that frosty absence of emotion infinitely desirable.

The sound of a key turning in the lock woke her from her reverie, to find the coffee mug she held clenched in her hands had gone cold. She scowled at it, swirling the now-frigid liquid inside despairingly.

"Who is it?" She called softly, rising from her chair, skirts swirling around her ankles. She peered into the hallway tentatively, worried that she would confront her irate warder, and find herself yet again at the receiving end of his disapproval.

No one was there.

Robin frowned. She _knew_ she had heard somebody come in… and yes, the door was slightly ajar. What…?

"Surprise!"

A hand covered her eyes from behind; another one wrapping around her tiny waist and pulling her roughly back into a swift embrace. Startled, Robin let out a thin shriek, dropping her cup. It shattered against the wooden floor.

"Nagira!" She said in quiet remonstration, though secretly glad that he had shown up.

He grinned sheepishly, rubbing one hand through his hair. "Sorry about that, babe… here, I'll get it…"

He gathered up the pieces of broken porcelain carefully, as Robin returned to the kitchen to make a fresh batch of espresso. With a soft sigh, she pulled a new mug out of the cupboard, thankful that Nagira hadn't broken her favourite one yet.

"You making more of that god-awful stuff you call coffee?" he inquired, stepping past her to toss the shards into the garbage.

Robin frowned at him. No one insulted her espresso. Not even _Amon_ would go that far.

"Whoa, ok, ok! I give in!" Nagira raised his hands defensively and backed away. "It's just that, in my mind, anything that's strong enough to take off the roof of your mouth should at _least_ have some alcoholic content, kid."

"_I_ like it," came the prim reply.

Nagira laughed. "Well, call me a cretin, but I'm going to pass, and mosey on over to the liquor stash."

Robin glanced over her shoulder. "We don't have any— oh."

Nagira waving a bottle of amber liquid triumphantly cut her off.

"Guess you don't know my little brother very well, hmm…?" he teased.

A shuddering sigh ran though her slight form. The coffee mug fell into the sink, followed by the newly brewed espresso. Sniffling slightly, Robin reached into the cupboard again, procuring two shot glasses.

"Um… Robin? Have you ever had scotch before…?"

"Shut up, Nagira."

He raised one eyebrow at her outburst. Robin never told anyone to shut up… it just didn't seem right, coming from her. She was so small, so timid, so freakin' _polite_ all the time. If she lost her temper a bit more often, perhaps Amon would finally listen to her.

Nagira smiled devilishly, thinking of his baby brother…a plan was coming to mind, one worthy of the great Sneaky Lawyer Genius that he was. Humming slightly to himself, he followed Robin to the living room, splashing scotch idly into the two glasses.

Robin downed the shot in one gulp, then gasped and clutched at her throat, coughing madly, tears squeezing out from her green eyes.

Nagira laughed, raising his glass in salute. "Good shit, isn't it? Amon always did have taste when it came to booze."

"St—st—strong!" Robin managed to wheeze, before coughing again.

"Here," Nagira refilled her glass, "Take it a little slower this time. God, Amon would kill me if he knew I was getting you drunk."

"Who cares?" she snapped in reply, eyeing the bitter liquid warily.

"Oooo-kay," he relented, "We don't care what Amon thinks. That's a good start…." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "How has he been treating you?"

"Fine." Robin replied softly, all defiance burned out of her. '_He acts like I've destroyed his life, but it's true, isn't it? He wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me…"_ She stared down at the shot glass cradled in her hands, watching the lights dance over its rippling orange surface.

Nagira observed the sad expression that settled over the young witch's face like mist covering the sun. _Amon, you bastard…got to cheer her up…_

"So, have you guys done it yet?" He remarked cheerfully.

Robin's head shot up, eyes wide, her cheeks flushing a deep shade of crimson. "No!" She exclaimed quickly, mortified. "I mean, Amon doesn't think of me that way, we haven't… we aren't…"

"Damn, you're living with a cute morsel like this, and you haven't even tried to go all the way with her?" Nagira demanded of his absent brother, "Jesus Amon, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were gay."

Robin stared at him, open-mouthed. "Amon's not gay," she whispered.

Nagira smothered a laugh at her insistence. She really was adorable, the way her cheeks coloured at the slightest mention of his idiot brother. She was so naïve about some things… and she was more shocked by the insinuation that Amon wasn't straight than the fact that his brother thought they should get it on.

"No, he's not," he relented amenably, "and I guess he's not a sleaze like me, either. So… trouble in paradise? Well, fear not, darling, Nagira's here!"

"He doesn't like me very much." She confessed softly, her normally quiet voice reduced to the barest whisper, as she ducked her head, bangs shielding her eyes.

_She's going to cry over you, and it's not the first time, is it, Amon? _Nagira thought angrily. "Hey! None of that. No tears allowed over a prick like Amon. Let's be happy drunks, all right? Drink that up now, and I'll get you properly smashed."

She blinked blearily at him, sniffling slightly. "But Amon would get really mad at us…"

Nagira smiled, fishing out a handkerchief for the younger girl, "What happened to all the defiance you were showing earlier, eh? Who gives a damn about Amon?"

"Who gives a damn…" she repeated thoughtfully, sipping at her scotch.

"That's more like it." Nagira settled back in his chair, lighting up a cigarette, and observing the timid girl through a cloud of pungent blue smoke. "Now, how about you tell me what the problem is?"

---------

Robin frowned with some difficulty into the bathroom mirror, swaying ever so slightly. She blinked repeatedly; as though she wasn't _entirely_ sure who it was she was looking at.

Nagira smothered a laugh, something he was becoming ever more adept at over the past couple of hours, as he had felt the need to do so more and more often.

Robin made an… _interesting_ drunk. In fact, there really wasn't that much of a change in her demeanour to the casual eye. Her smile was a little vacant perhaps, her clear eyes a tad out of focus, but she still spoke in the same prayer-like whisper, still kept herself very still and proper.

Nagira sighed happily. It was so much fun fucking with people whose inhibitions had flown out the proverbial freakin' window.

…Doing her makeup would be the best part.

**OWARI!**

Oh poor Robin, falling into the clutches of the heinous Nagira!! Please review!!

Xtine


	2. Alcohol Remedies

A/N

Back again to what used to be part of the whole story as a set, but is the newly ordained CHAPTER 2!

For disclaimers, please see chapter one, I'm too lazy to think up a new one!

**Megan Consoer, Sheashah, Lone Songbird, isishikage, LestatBPand Jess: **your update, as requested. Hope you Enjoy it!!!

**Lone Songbird and LG: **Sorry, the other one was just a one-shot. This is all new!!! (BE Afraid!)

**AAOTD:** No, it's not NxR, sorry to disappoint!!! IT'll have more of Nagira than of Amon though, if that makes it any better!!

**Noebody and Lucied, this chapter's for you!!**

**Chapter 2: Alcohol Remedies**

--the last couple of hours…--

"_We are going to make you so gorgeous, my brother won't even know what hit him," Nagira said confidently, feeling a self-satisfied smirk spread across his handsome features._

_Robin grinned a little unsteadily at him, before narrowing her concentration to the far more complicated task at hand. She bit her lip, frowning…._

"_Whoa!! Hold on there!" Nagira snatched the now almost empty bottle from the young witch's hand before she spilled any more onto the table. Presumably, she had been going for her shot glass, though it was a good two inches to the right of the amber puddle of liquid._

_Robin giggled lightly. "Whoops! Made a mess!"  
_

_Nagira eyed her uncertainly, "I'll take care of it—"_

"_Nuh-uh!" The Italian girl rose shakily to her feet, fumbling on the table for her glassed and perching them with excessive deliberation on her nose. "Let _me."

_Nagira realised his mistake as flames leapt up from the alcohol. "SHIT!" he yelled, scampering backwards, "do you know how flammable that stuff is?" _

She laughed again, weaving as though in a high wind, and collapsing back on the couch. The flames died away, leaving only a charcoal patch on the pale wood of the table.

"_The spill," Robin pronounced, "Is gone." _

"It certainly is." Nagira agreed, wondering if his brother was smart enough to have stashed any more booze around the place. He was really going to need it in a few minutes. "I can see you'll be a fabulous housekeeper, babe, but before you worry about that, you got to snag the guy, right?

"_Right…?"_

_Nagira sighed. "Oookay fine. Let us proceed to **Phase Two**!"_

_He was a tad disappointed when no dramatic music swelled to fill the static air of the apartment. Such a pronouncement felt like it needed some important musical backup. It always worked in animés and musicals, after all, and that name was definitely in bold-faced, italicized font. It deserved its own theme song._

"_Phase… Two?" Robin asked, tilting her head to one side. _

_He pulled her to her feet, tugging her over to her bedroom. "Come on."_

_TBC!!!!_

What's phase 2? Oooh...memories of South Park and the underpants gnomes. Nevremind….

Thanks to all who have reviewed this…to those who haven't, there's no time like the present!!

Xtine


	3. Unnatural Solutions

As usual, thank you to anyone and everyone who has reviewed this story, and I hope it's making you all laugh so far.

Again, for disclaimers, refer to chapter 1. We all know that this series isn't really mine, or else all other WHR fics would have disclaimers addressed to me, right??

**Frankie:** Yeah, sorry I took so long to get this up.. but hey, it builds suspense, right??? Enjoy.  
**tankbbg: **heh heh heh, never fear, it's coming....  
**evilteddybear:** Yeah, it was short, but I thought size didn't matter...? Love the name, btw...  
**Paige**: (Cowers from fist) ok ok ok!!! Here it is! This one's for you!

**Chapter 3: Unnatural Solutions**

_---5 MIN. LATER---_

_Nagira slumped on the bed, glaring at her closet in frustrated…frustration. _

"_What's wrong?" Robin flopped down next to him, mimicking his fierce glare – dulled by the powerful protective lense of booze – at her open closet._

"_Well, are you a little Robin, or are you a little _sparrow?_" he indicated the meagre array of clothes. I mean, it's all dark, drab, and hardly revealing enough."_

_Robin propped her chin up on her hands. "What's it supposed to reveal?" she asked excitedly, pitching her voice at an even lower range than normal as though the folds of fabric would somehow overhear._

_Nagira tapped her nose lightly with one finger. "You."_

_Robin tried to tap his nose in response but only managed to hit his cheek. "Ah."_

"_Fortunately," he continued, rising from the bed, and heading out her door, "I brought along some necessities in the event that something like this should happen. I mean, no offence, but you're not exactly a normal teenage girl, are you?" _

When he reappeared in the doorway a moment later, clutching some shopping bags and grinning like an idiot, Robin favoured him with a flat stare that was creepily reminiscent of his brother.

"_You brought clothes?" she demanded.  
_

_He grinned hugely. "I did indeed, sweetheart."_

"_Nagira…"she gave him an extremely pointed look. "How did you know my sizes?"_

"_Ano…" he floundered for a moment, dropping one of the bags to run a nervous hand through his hair._

"_And how did you know I wouldn't have any colourful or revealing clothes?"  
_

'Drunken people are _not_ allowed to be this perceptive!'_ his mind insisted. _'It just doesn't happen!'

"_Um… mere…speculation, darling…?"_

"_I _see._" Her voice radiated crisp, drunken disapproval._

"_So…"_

"_Let me see what you brought." Robin conceded imperiously, waving her hand in the air. Nagira ducked to avoid being hit in the face as he scrambled to grab the bags. _

"_Ok, then…."_

_Their search produced a variety of various garish coloured clothing in assorted degrees of skankiness. Nagira had to pry the black tank top forcefully out of Robin's clutching fingers, simultaneously kicking all other dark clothing under her bed. _

_Perversely enough, she latched on to everything _pink_ after that. _

'Must be that Dojima's influence….'_ Nagira thought sarcastically. _

_Having finally found the 'perfect _ensemble_' (mini-skirt less than one inch wide, black, as Nagira couldn't refuse those big pouty eyes for long, crimson crop-top with matching 'fuck me' pumps, and enough of what Nagira had heard called '_bling bling'_ to make the slender girl fall over) , the perverted lawyer sat back on Robin's bed to see the end result._

_She glared at him._

"WHAT?_" he demanded, giving her his best innocent face._

_She sniffed haughtily "I _may_ be a…little tipsy, but I am not so drunk as to…to let you stay in here while I get dressed!"_

"_Oh. Right."_

_Sheepishly, he slunk out the door, only to be called back a moment later. Robin's face peered at him through the microscopic amount that she had allowed the door to open. _

"_Which one is which again?" she demanded._

"_Red bottom, black…no, wait…hmmm…the other way around. Black bottom, red top. Yeah."_

"_How can you tell?" she held up both skimpy pieces of cloth. "They look exactly the same."_

"_Ok… wear the jeans, then."_

"_The ones that almost need to be sewn on?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_OK!" she chirruped happily. _

_Nagira just laughed to himself._

_He had to go back in three minutes later to help her untangle herself from the shirt. The lack of armholes had caused no end to her confusion._

OWARIII!!!

The sad thing is, people really wear stuff like that. Can't picture Robin in that though… she'd think they were dust rags or something, as they certainly weren't big enough to be clothing!!!

Please review!

Xtine


	4. Diabolical Plotting

**A/N **Well, thank you everybody for reviewing so MUCH! I love all of you!! I'm a little pressed for time at the moment, so no individual shout-outs…sorry! However, I will say that Amon won't be showing up in this chap. either…don't know when he does, actually, but he _does_. Trust me. Well, thanks a gazillion, and ttfn! 

XTINE

**Chapter 4: Diabolical Plotting**

"So what, exactl…er…precisell…purport…."

"Exacrtly? Precisely?"

"Yes. What…that…is our plan of whatchamacallit…going and, er, doing the thingy that was the, um, plan, yes plan, …which I don't know…what?"

Nagira gently reached past the gesturing Robin and plucked the shot glass from her hand. "Enough booze for you."

"Nuh-uh."

"I think so."

"Nope!"

"Ok, you can have some more…" Nagira handed her back the empty glass. "Try this."

"Why thank you, good sir!" Robin exclaimed, draining the glass. The already _empty_ glass.

'_Yep. She's gone.'_

"But when…when, you know… the grrrr, I'm so bad-ass-with-my-scary-face man…when he…"

"Stop talking." Nagira frowned. Doing lipstick was probably hard enough when the person was calm and sober…he didn't think it was _really_ supposed to split off from her lips to traverse her nose.

"With his gin…heh heh, silly! He likes _scotch_, not gin! His _gun_ and that _fucking_ trenchcoat… he's just all like…like that, you know?"

Was mascara supposed to makes lines like that down her cheeks? And which came first? Concealer, foundation, powder, or blush? Was there really a difference?

This was all far too complicated. How the hell did that eye-lash curler, that the lady at the counter had assured him was a _must_, no less, how the_ hell_ did that thing work? Nagira picked it up gingerly, considering it at arm's length. It looked more like some medieval torturing device.

Nevermind.

"Ok, doll, listen up. When Amon gets home, I want you to…Robin, could you _please_ listen to me for just _one_ second?"

Robin stopped poking her reflection in the mirror long enough to nearly fall out of the chair.

"All…right. So. When my darling baby brother gets home, you don't have to do much. He goes into his bedroom when he gets in, doesn't he?"

Robin screwed up her face with the effort of thought. "Yes."

"As antisocial as ever, hmmm? Well, that's something we're going to use for our master plan. All you need to do is follow him into the room, and push him down on the bed, ok?"

"Won't he get mad at me?" her voice barely ranked on the audible scale.

"Well, you just get mad right back! Tell him to shut the hell up, then kiss up, so he has to, start unbuttoning his shirt – don't space out on me here, kid – his shirt, his pants…well, believe you me, kid, he won't be protesting for long. Amon may be a sullen, recalcitrant little shit, but he _is_ still a man. "

Robin nodded fiercely. "Yeah. Shut the hell up, Amon. Shut the hell up! _Shut the HELL UP!_" she collapsed into a fit of giggles.

Nagira started to join in the laughter, but stopped as she grabbed his shoulders, becoming abruptly serious.

"But Nagira…" she breathed softly, "I've never even _kissed_…"

"Wellllll…" he grinned his best suave and seductive smirk, 100 guaranteed swoon worthy. "We can soon fix _that_…."

* * *

I know that various rabid fans have their factions over who should be with whom in these shows… _is_ there a Nagira/Robin one? I've never seen it, but I may not have been really looking hard enough. You would think that there would be….

Enough ranting.

Please review!

Thanks,

Xtine


	5. Interesting Times

**AN: **49 reviews??? strikes dramatic, tearful pose You love me! You really love me!!! Well, here's the next chapter, and you have my sincerest apologies for taking so long to get it up. Lynching by email is understood.

**Seashah**: please don't die. She'll get cleaned up…. Eventually. And this is AR, so no worries about Nagira gettin' any!!

**Isishikage:** you're right, that would be uber-kawaii… unfortunately, like Robin, I have an affinity for the tall, dark handsome, and brooding variety of bishie, and so force my whimes masochistically onto Robin. Mwahahah.

**Wendyghost:** never fear, it's getting there slowly but surely!

**Adora Bell Dearheart**: If only I had thought of that!!!! That's a great idea! Will make mental note to write that in the future, should I ever get free time. Hehe. You are hereby awarded this stuffed Amon doll – _NO I HAVEN"T BEEN DROOLING OVER IT…IT WAS ALWAYS THAT SOGGY!!! _Ahem.. And todays chapter goes out to you. Enjoy.

**Everybody else**: For all your craziness and support and dire threats, thanks a gazillion!

**Sorry, this is a bit of a cop-out chapter, as it's really short… but there's more to come! Really! So you can't kill me yet, ok? OK?**

**Chapter 5: Interesting Times**

"Nagira!"

Amon sounded pissed off. Nagira quickly pulled back from the drunken nymph in front of him – no easy task, as her eyes were closed, her lips puckered outwards, ready to accept his kiss.

Amon, as always, had the worst timing.

Swiftly, Nagira rose from kneeling in front of Ro – no, his _creation_ – ready to prevent his brother from stumbling across their little surprise before she was ready.

"Amon!" He exclaimed happily, walking into the hall where his ever-irate sibling stood with a face that would curdle milk. He was scowling too.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, so is _that_ how you're going to great your one and only –"

"Yes. Answer the question, Nagira."

Nagira stopped mid-sentence, though still maintaining his wounded face, to glare at his brother. Glaring while still looking hurt and betrayed was a discipline that had taken him years to master. Amon may have been the master glarer, but Nagira had...subtleties.

"Don't start that..." Amon groaned.

"Well I wouldn't if you weren't so damn suspicious all the time!"

Amon held up the two empty liquor bottles. "There's a reason I shouldn't be?"

"Ah..."

"Get out."

Nagira started to protest, but then shrugged fatalistically. The sooner he left, the sooner Robin could get to work. He just hoped that she had remembered all of his instructions....

"Where's Robin?"

_'Damn! Can that guy read minds, or what?!'_

"She's in the bathroom." Nagira replied shortly, "Crying. Or she was, at least. Don't you _dare_ bother her."

Amon had the grace to look mildly chagrined, muttering something under his breath.

Nagira rolled his eyes. Hopeless as always when it came to girls, it would seem. "You're so romantic, Amon."

"What?" Dark bangs conspired to hide an utterly puzzled expression...and failed.

Nagira sighed. "It's called sarcasm. I'll come by tomorrow to see how she's doing." He paused, placing one brotherly hand on Amon's trench-coated shoulder. "I know it's hard, and against your nature, but..." he smiled brightly, "try not to be too much of a complete prick, ok?"

Amon stared blankly at his brother as, whistling, the older man slipped on his shoes and coat, gave a cheery wave, and slammed the door.

"I can't believe we're from the same family..." he murmured to himself, then frowned."I am _not_ a prick..."

He thought of Robin, crying in the bathroom, according to Nagira – not the best source for information, true, but he wouldn't lie about something like _that,_ surely – and flinched.

"Ok. Maybe I _am_ a bit of a prick. But just a bit. And never without reason. If she weren't so reckless, then I wouldn't have to be so stern with her, and..." he left off his train of random rationalizing, coming to the crystal clear conclusion, that his prickishness had, in fact, gone off the charts.

"Shit."

**OWARI!!!**

**Five down, two to go, so keep those reviews a-comin!!!!! **

**Love all of you guys, you're so NICE!**

**XTINE**


	6. Sweet Romance

**(boogie boogie) I got lots of reviews! I got lots of reviews!**

**Ok, moving on to the thank yous…..**

**Wendyghost: **here's the 'good part'! Enjoy!

**Adora Bell Dearheart: **Enjoy your Amon doll! I have lots of fun with my Zechs one… hee hee hee…

**Cat/Wolf Witch Kyobi:** Wish I could help you out, but I haven't read the story before, I just write them. If it bothers you, email one of these other crazy people who liked the fic!

**FyodorD: **I hereby dedicate the line where Robin passes out to you. Was that a plot spoiler? OOPS!

**Seashah:** I know, I know, the last chapter was really short, take this one as an appeasement.

**Amon's Angel of the Darkness:** To be perfectly honest, it's only one more chapter (this one) and an epilogue. Sorry!

**Frankie**: Glad you liked the chapter! This one is a _little_ bit longer. Not much, but a little. I have a reputation to maintain, after all.

**Evilteddybear: **very sorry to keep you waiting, but rehearsals and homework are killing me. The only reason this is going up so soon (relatively) is that I'm home sick with a fever of 104 degrees. Gungh.

**Blackfphoenix: **Thanks for the great review! Wow that was a long cough, you might wanna get a doctor to take a look at that. I'll admit, I don't usually do comedies; my friends all call me the Tragedy Queen for a reason. However, given the inordinate amount of reviews garnered by this story, I may have to explore more WHR comedy ideas. Any suggestions?

**Neko-Yuff16: **It's not soon, but it _is_ an update….

**Ayjah**: LOL, same as above!

**Tankbbg**: BAM! Updated! Mwahahahhahaha

HMMMM…. Maybe I should have put all of these at the bottom, d'ya think? Oh well, next time! Please leave a review, as the next chappies the last opportunity you'll have to be personally thanked by ME! what an honour, eh?

**Chapter 6: Interesting Times**

Robin stared blurrily at the other person, tilting her head to one side. The other mimicked her yet again. She looked somehow...familiar, this intruder. Same blonde hair, same wide green eyes. Robin stretched out one hand, lost her balance and fell, striking the other girl as she strove to catch her balance.

Her hand met only cool, smooth, glass.

Flames erupted from her fingertips, warming the slick surface. Her eyes focused slightly.

"Oh. A mirror." Now that she said it, it seemed so obvious. Oh well. Maybe that last glass of whiskey _hadn't _been such a good idea after all.

So.

Robin struggled to focus, pressing one palm against her heated forehead. What had Nagira told her? Yes. It was about Amon. Yes. She had to... to make him like her again... oh yes. She had to follow him into his room.

The young witch rose to her feet inelegantly, pulling at the tight fabric that constricted her every movement. It was _really_ hard to walk, the combination of stiletto heels and pants that could have been painted on conspiring to trip her up at every step.

Gathering herself with some difficulty outside Amon's room, Robin pushed her loose blonde hair back off her face, straightened her...well, for lack of a better word, _shirt_, and pushed open the door.

-

It took Amon a few minutes to be able to close his mouth. He had never really considered the fact that Robin had _legs_ underneath all that fabric she usually wore, much less...anything _else_.

She strutted towards him, the red high hells she was wearing making the hips he hadn't realized were there sway most becomingly. Then she stumbled.

Amon jumped up from his bed, catching her arm roughly and pulling her upright.

Robin blinked dizzily, and peered up at him, her eyes squinting as she laboured to focus her vision.

"Amon..."

He nodded curtly, wanting to look down and meet her emerald eyes, but wary of what...else...lay exposed below those eyes.

"Ah." Confirmation received, Robin placed her hands flat on Amon's chest.

_'... and push him down on the bed, ok?'_

"Ok." She whispered.

"Robin"

She pushed, with all her strength.

It was rather like shoving a brick wall. Amon didn't move one inch.

"Robin, what the hell are you doing"

She looked up at his impassive face, with its eyebrow cocked in disapproval, and bit her lip.

"And what the _hell_ are you wearing? Did Nagira put you up to this"

The lip trembled, her eyes welling with tears.

"Don't you think I look pretty"

Amon stalled. "Um... well... I..."

"I see." A mouse would have drowned out her miserable voice as she moved past him to perch on the edge of his bed like a distraught parakeet; curled up small and lonely, wearing colours too bright for its size.

"Shit." Amon muttered again, caught out in being an asshole again. He went to sit next to her immediately, unsure of how he could go about comforting her. He just _really_ wasn't a people person – especially when said people were tearfully hormonal teenage girls apparently going through an identity crisis.

No sooner had he sat next to her then Robin turned suddenly, pushing him backwards. Caught of guard, Amon fell backwards to lay full length on the mattress.

Robin leaned over him, her blonde hair slipping over one shoulder to brush his cheek as her slender fingers fumbled at the buttons of his shirt. She was having trouble with them, her hands felt like they belonged to someone else, incapable of responding to the messages her brain was sending to them.

"Robin..." Amon tried to sit up, only to be pushed roughly back again.

"Shut Up." The young girl told him succinctly, shooting him a verdant glare.

Amon raised his eyebrows. Robin being...aggressive? It defied belief.

Frustrated with the shirt buttons, Robin turned her attention to Amon's pants. The older hunter quickly grabbed her hands, feeling his cheeks flush.

"ROBIN! What the _fuck_ are you doing"

She looked at him innocently, looking hurt and betrayed like a puppy that's just been slapped on the nose.

"Trying to seduce you"

That was too much. Amon fell back onto the pillow, beginning to laugh uncontrollably. The uncertain tone of her voice, coupled with the fact that this was _Robin_ for chrissakes, so different from all the other women that had chased after him over the years... it was just too much.

A soft sniffle brought him out of his merriment. Robin looked absolutely devastated.

"It should have worked" She exclaimed miserably, scrubbing at her eyes with a fake diamond encrusted wrist. "I did everything he told me to do..._push him down on the bed, unbutton his shirt and pants, tell him to shut up if he protests, then have your way with him_, that's exactly what he told me."

"Nagira put you up tot his" Amon mentally added his brother's name to his hit-list. Something infinitely painful would be appropriate...he'd have to work on that later. "I see."

"What did I do wrong, Amon" Robin demanded earnestly. "What was it about Tokou that you loved so much? I can do that too, I can wear high-heels and short skirts and...and makeup, even though it makes me sneeze, and I can be suave and sexy too, Amon! So...why don't you love me? Why can't I make you love _me_"

Amon reached up, cupping her cheek in one hand, and gently pulling her down closer to him.

"You already have."

He eyes lit up, a smile that spread across her face as she moved in to kiss him...

...and passed out.

"Robin? _Robin?_" Amon shook her shoulder gingerly, receiving only a loud snore in reply. Sighing, he kissed her cheek softly...

...and caught the unmistakeable scent of his favourite whiskey.

**TBC**

Only one more to go! The infamous epilogue, mwahahahahahahahaaaaaa!


	7. Ungentle Remonstration

**Alas, the tragic day has finally come! This is, indeed, the last chapter of my fic. (sniffle). I drew it out for as long as I could, but it's still over! Thank you very very much for all your loverly reviews, they are, as always, greatly appreciated. **

**Now, for the last time, the thank you list!**

**Lucifer's Garden: **Thank you for the moronic squeal. It was very moving.

**Lilly: **Why I'm honoured that mine was the first fic of WHR that you read! I feel so loved! Well, here's the update as requested, and it's the very last chapter. If you want to read some other great WHR fan fiction, may I suggest _The Disappearing Life_ and _Day of Ashes_ by **meris ann, **_Libera Me_ by **YellowDancer, **and to use a shameless plug (hey, it's my fic!) _Redemption_, by yours truly. Also, _Amon and Laundry_ by **Aisling Niamh** is really funny. All of these are under my favourites if you're interested. Thanks for the review, and have fun watching the show!

**Frankie:** Darling, if she remembered everything, the poor girl would never come out of her room again, and then Amon would never get any! Hee hee.

**Hanako110:** I hope you move any heavy furniture out of the way before collapsing and rolling on the floor…(points to bandage on head), if you're anything like me, that would probably be wise.

**Seashah**: I know, I'm really sad that it's almost over too, it's really really rare that I actually manage to finish a chapter story! (As you can no doubt tell from my profile page.) Anyhoo, I suppose I'll have to make up some new diabolical plot with which to torment the poor characters!  
Amon: (glares at Xtine) I will hunt you down if you even think of it.  
Xtine: Eeeep!

**Neko-Yuff16**: I know, she's had a rough day, hmmm? Mwahahahahaha.

**FyodorD**: Arrr, matey, I be glad to find another scurvy swashbuckler who speaks my piratey lingo. Ya-harrr. Ahem. Did I really type "high _hells_"? No, it wasn't intentional but… strangely appropriate all the same. I'm glad you love the story! (hug) 

**Tankbbg**: I'll owe you an apology once the story's done, since you predicted it pretty well. Sorry 'bout the plot spoiler, but I just kind of twitched when I read your review, knowing what's coming next. I love you anyways? Enjoy the ending, and if you feel like writing an alternate version, please send it to me and I'll post it on here by way of apology!

**Wendyghost**: Yep, I torture people. I'm mean like that! Look at poor Robin!

**Ayjah**: No, I hadn't really planned on following this one up, my two WHR stories are kind of individual plots with absolutely no relation to each other. However, if I think up something good to follow this one, I may just use it… thanks for the idea!

**Blackfphoenix**: May I just say that I ADORE you? That's a great idea! Ooohhh….. now I wanna go write! I don't know what exactly will happen, but thanks a gazillion, and if it ever turns into a fic, it'll be dedicated to YOU!

**Evilteddybear:** evilteddybear Thank you for the sympathy, I'm feeling much much better today! Aside from the fact that the story is ending. But I may just have another plot idea in mind, courtesy of blackfphoenix! You gave a lot of good options of how the story's gonna end, and I'll tell you, you were partially right with two of them, (wink), but read on to find out!

**It's short, it's sweet (well, not really), and it's finally here! It's the...**

**EPILOGUE!**

**Chapter 7: Ungentle Remonstration**

"Amon...buddy...come on, you're my little brother! I mean, blood has to count for something, right? More than spilling it in a fit of childish pique, at least... don't you agree? What did I do wrong, honestly? _Honestly?_! I mean, I just was playing cupid, it's not as if _you_ were ever going to grow the balls to do anything about a gorgeous girl like that living under your roof, madly in love with you. I mean, it was practically your _duty_ to...well, _you know_. Whoa. What are you gonna do with ? NO! No, don't Amon, I mean it, you'll regret it lat – put the gun down. Put it _down_, Amon. Amon...? AMON"

-

Robin sat sleepily in the kitchen of the drab apartment, sipping at a cup of scalding espresso and regarding the walls intensely. A dull, washed out, beige-ish colour, lifeless and worn, perfect for the headache that pounded at her temples without any mercy.

Amon came into the house suddenly, slamming the door behind him.

There was the faint sound of shattering china.

"Shit!" Robin cursed as the reverberations echoed in her battered brain. Not one to swear, she quickly clapped one hand to hermouth, staring forlornly at the floor.The noise had startled her so badly that her favourite coffee cup was now lying in pieces on the tile, a dark brown stain seeping out around the pale china fragments.

She was still scowling at it when the errant trench-coated culprit entered the kitchen. The glare was abruptly transferred.

"You're awake." Amon noted by way of greeting.

"You broke my cup." Robin pointed out right back. "I _liked_ that cup. It was my _favourite_ cup."

Amon handed her the blistering glare right back with the ease of long practice. "Well _you_ drank all of my favourite whiskey last night."

"Ugh" Robin pressed one hand to her temples. "Don't remind me. I don't remember anything that happened last night... something tells me I don't want to."

Amon turned from getting his own cup of coffee sharply. "Nothing? You don't remember _anything?_"

"Don't yell." Robin replied crossly. "No, I don't."

The silence stretched out between them. Eventually Robin glanced up again to see Amon staring blanklyat something she couldn't see.

"Why do you ask?"

Amon sighed, shaking his head. "Nothing...it...it was nothing."

"Wasn't Nagira supposed to come over today"

Amon's face darkened noticeably. "No. He is not."

Robin watched him storm out of the kitchen, and sighed to herself, bending to gingerly gather the fragments of the mug. He was _always_ mad at her for some reason or another...it was just no fair.

It was just trouble in paradise.

END

Thank you so much again for putting up with intermittant posting, more thank-yous than actual words written in the chapter, and my raving bouts of insanity! See you all next time! Mwahahahahahahahahah!


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